Not
surprisingly, one of the main questions parents ask me is how I eventually
overcame my soiling problems. I outlined
this briefly in my first post, Why I Pooed My Pants, but many
parents have appreciated a more detailed explanation.
I can
only write about my own experiences and, in my case, the effort to become clean
had to come from my own willpower. My parents
never sought medical advice about my soiling and I was never on regular
medication for it. My mother did
occasionally give me a laxative, usually Chocolate Ex-Lax, when I was badly
constipated and had not used the toilet for several days. This did make me poo, but I usually had no
time to reach the bathroom and resulted in some very messy accidents in my
pants.
The habits I picked up in my toddler years stayed with me for a long time. |
As I previously stated¸ for a long
time I didn’t make the connection between withholding and soiling my pants. Even after I had made the connection
between withholding my poo and having dirty pants I continued to have problems
for a long time. Avoiding going to the toilet when I didn't feel like it had
become a habit and like all habits, such as thumb sucking in children or
smoking in adults, it was difficult to break.
By the time I had made the connection I had pooed
my pants on numerous trips and many times at home, been stinky around other
children and often suffered from constipation and stomach aches. I
hated the moment when I knew that I had messed myself and would soon be told
off again. But I still
sometimes withheld when I felt the need to poo. Like so
many children I often thought only about the present moment, not the time later
in the day, or on the next day or the day after, when I would suffer the indignity
of having my pants checked before being cleaned up like a toddler by my mother
and scolded at the same time.
Aged 7, I believed I was the only school aged child in the world who pooed his pants and began to feel I was babyish and disgusting. |
Ultimately, however, the initiative to deal with
the situation came from myself and my desire to be like other children. I
started making more of an effort to solve my problem, forcing myself to go to
the toilet at home even if my initial instinct was to withhold. Also, in my first term at junior school I pooed in the boys toilets for the first time in my life. For most 7 year olds this would be no big deal, but it takes courage when you've spent years avoiding sitting on school toilets. On my way out two older boys entering the toilets complained about the smell: 'I bet he's done a poo,' one of them said. Yes, I had, and I was proud of it! I had done a poo at school and it wasn't in my pants! And I was happy to leave the stink behind in the boys toilets this time rather than carry it around with me!
Making the change wasn't easy, the withholding habit I had picked up as a 3-year old had become deeply ingrained, and there were times when I relapsed and had accidents. Also, my bowel needed time to recover from years of withholding and I sometimes soiled myself without being given any warning that I had needed to use the toilet. However, by my 8th birthday I was largely clean at home as well as at school, where I'd been lucky enough to have few problems anyway.
Making the change wasn't easy, the withholding habit I had picked up as a 3-year old had become deeply ingrained, and there were times when I relapsed and had accidents. Also, my bowel needed time to recover from years of withholding and I sometimes soiled myself without being given any warning that I had needed to use the toilet. However, by my 8th birthday I was largely clean at home as well as at school, where I'd been lucky enough to have few problems anyway.
Most of my accidents after that happened on trips
away from home. My toilet problems
while out and about will be the subject of my next post.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I value it deeply.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome. I'm glad it was useful to you.
DeleteI decided to publish a blog, rather than write a book, so it was available to as many people as possible. I don't really have anything to add to what I have written in this blog. As for a video, I don't think many people would want to listen to my voice for an hour or more while I talked all about my soiling problems.
ReplyDelete